by Crazy Ivan
Back in 05-06 we went through a phase where we were trying to quantify every record you can imagine in Myachi. There are far too many potential records for us to hit everything and eventually we realized this, but it seemed important at the time that we set some high water marks for the future.
Some of these records have since been forgotten and others have since been shattered, but there's one that sticks in my mind.
The standing record for the longest toss and catch in Myachi is 131 feet. The kick and catch record is slightly higher at 133 feet. We took advantage of an empty high school football stadium to measure it out and spent an hour and a half chucking and sticking Myachis from ever further distances.
These records have stood for almost five years, though we're certain that that they will be shattered once the paddles are released. But half of the record has already been beaten... sort of.
In 05 the center of the Myachi world was in Orlando, Florida. Universal Studios Theme Park was one of our major retailers at the time and Pinky and I were stationed nearby for the summer. We spent our days slinging Myachis to tourists in the park stores or in line for various rides.
It was a fun year, but there are two problems with Orlando. One is the unbearable heat of the summers. The other is Florida's magnetic attraction to hurricanes.
In October of 05 the culprit was a monster hurricane named Wilma. She had already set the record for the fastest wind speed ever recorded in the Atlantic Basin. She swept south under Florida and then did a sudden and unexpected U-turn and hit Florida from the West coast.
Now, when you live in an RV, you get pretty concerned about the weather. The Myachi Mobile was awesome, but not much chance it would stand up against a category 5 hurricane. The eye of the storm was going to hit way to the south of us, but the high winds were bad enough that we had to evacuate.
We had friends about an hour to the east that owned a hotel so Pinky and I locked up Big Momma, hopped in my car and made for the coast.
By the time we got there, the leading edge of the hurricane was really bearing down on us. There was some local flooding early so we got checked into our room and flipped on the weather channel. Some guy was standing in the middle of 100 mph winds and really earning his paycheck on TV and that gave me an idea... a stupid idea.
I glanced outside at the parking lot. The lines were set up at a standard 9 feet and it was all but empty. October is at the end of the tourist season to begin with and with the heavy hurricane season there weren't many people left to fill the local hotels.
"I'll be right back," I told Pinky and scooped a dozen Myachis from our luggage.
"Where are you going?" she asked incredulously, looking at the sheets of rain slamming against the windows and wondering what could possibly be important enough to prompt me to go outside.
"I have to set a quick record before the wind shifts."
I pushed out before she could formulate an argument and before I know it I'm getting stung by rain. The wind is so strong that its accelerating the rain into tiny little bullets and it feels like I'm being pelted by shrapnel rather than water. I'm squinting to see as I make my way to the rear of the parking lot. Pinky is watching from the window, still flummoxed by my sudden and inexplicable departure.
I line up and wait for a good wind gust.
When it comes I chuck a Myachi catapult style and heave it as hard as I can manage.
The wind grabs it at its peak and slams it against the side of the building only sixty feet away. I try again with similar results. The third try, however, catches the wind correctly and it absolutely sails. It drops at the far end of the parking lot and I make a mental note of the landing place.
Next I try for the kick. By then I was getting good at timing the toss and the wind gusts so it only took me two tries with the kick. Satisfied that I'd successfully shattered the existing distance records, I gathered my Myachis and went back inside so that Pinky could tell me how stupid and crazy I was.
I measured the actual distance the following day when the storm abated. While there was no catch at the far end, I measured 164 feet on the toss and 166 feet on the kick. As far as I know, those records still stand. They should a t least stay safe until next hurricane season.
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