Measuring Yumminess

by Crazy Ivan

The Myachiverse has long relied on vague and undefined terms when it comes to describing how broken in a Myachi is.  Someone might refer to their Myachi as "stiff", "yummy", "uber-yummy" or "sumpoy".  All these terms have meaning in relation to one another; yummy is better than stiff and sumpoy is better than yummy, but they don't mean a whole heck of a lot on their own.

I've seen several arguments in the past whether on the forum, the chat or in person where two maniacs debate whether a particular sack is sumpoy or merely uber-yummy.  The problem, of course, is that there is no exact definition for either term.  Sumpoy is the top of the line, but there's no clear demarcation between truly sumpoy and mostly sumpoy.

Up until now, this has really just been a minor issue for quibbling Myachi-ites, but today that problem presents itself to me in a whole new way.

You see, today marks the beginning or my Myth-Buster-esque attempt to figure out what really works and what doesn't when it comes to breaking in a Myachi.  Today's mission is to gather up all the sacks I'll need and to do this right I need 24 different Myachis of three different types.  They have to be identical sacks that are all unopened and this is actually proving to be tougher than I'd expected.

But I'm also looking down the road.  In order for this test to have any real scientific accuracy, I'm going to have to measure the relative yumminess of each sack at the end.  I'll need some kind of point where I can say, "okay, yeah, this Myachi is all the way broken in."  Barring that, I at least need an objective measure of which of two sacks are more broken in.

This will be easy where the difference is huge.  It's pretty easy to say one sack is more broken in if it's way more broken in, but what about the slight differences between nearly equal methods?  Just going by my own random assessment isn't very scientific at all.

To solve this problem, I'm going to be testing my Myachis in three ways and I'll add more tests if anyone has any suggestions for other purely objective and quantifiable ways to test them.

#1) Subjective Opinions

Like I said, this is the exact opposite of being objective but yumminess is a pretty straight forward thing.  I'll be offering all of the Myachis to Monk, Kid, Pinky, Animal, Mav, Bones, Noodles and Bamboo and asking them to rate their yumminess on a 10 point scale.  I'll average all the scores and that will provide me with my base number of yumminess.

#2) Unassisted Fold

I'll take each Myachi and place it on a thick horizontal wire like a coat hanger.  I'll place them all tag and glowstick loop up and I'll measure the angle that they fold to.  The reasoning is that a Myachi that isn't broken in won't fold much or won't fold at all, but a really yummy Myachi will fold right up.  If one Myachi folds (on it's own) to a 25 degree angle and the other folds to 30 degrees the second Myachi is obviously at least a little bit more broken in.

#3) Forced Fold

For this test I'll fold the Myachis long ways across the flat side.  I'll crease the middle as much as I can and work the secret sauce to either side then get the two edges to fold as close together as possible.  I'll measure the distance between the seams and that will give me yet another measure of how broken in the Myachi is.

I know this might sound overly complicated, but to measure slight differences we're going to have to go all lab coat on this one.  I'm actually dying of curiosity on this one myself and I'll be doing my best to build the suspense between now and next Monday when I do the reveal.