Editors Note: The following article offended a few of our readers and we considered taking it down altogether. However, as it was not the author's intent to offend, we chose instead to print a detailed explanation of why the terminology was chosen as well as an apology to those offended. Before of after reading this one, you should also read the amendum.
I suppose it's a pretty big deal that I've even had an opportunity to be snubbed from so many national appearances. I'll admit that it stung the first time. Heck, it even stung the second and third time. I'd love to say that it doesn't sting anymore so I will even though it's a bit disingenuous. It doesn't sting anymore... okay, now I just feel worse.
I've written about getting snubbed on Jeopardy before, but that wasn't the first time I got snubbed. I'd also been snubbed by none other than Martha Stewart. Myachi appeared on her program a while back and we brought the whole team to be on the show.
Mostly they just used Myachi Man (since he's the one Martha was interviewing). The rest of us spent most of the time in the green room messing with all of Martha's Emmy awards but for a moment they trooped everyone out. We'd brought half a dozen Myachi Maniacs as well so everybody marches in there. Kid hung at the edge of the stage with all the kids and got about 3 seconds of air time.
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| For just a second you thought I was kidding about the Emmys, didn't you? |
Mav, Animal, Monk and I were placed out in the audience so that we could help teach everyone once Martha revealed that everyone in the audience was getting a free Myachi. They were even kind enough to pan the audience once so you could see all of us. Monk, Animal and Mav each got about 1 second of air time. Camera cut off before it got to me.
But that also wasn't the first time I got snubbed while with Myachi.
About a year earlier we'd been invited to be in the background of a movie shoot. The movie "Solitary Man" was filming here in NYC and there was a key scene on a college campus. They needed people doing something distinctly "collegey" in the background so they contact us to see if we could send some guys out to play Myachi.
We sent photos and they picked four guys to head out there, Kore, Animal, Mav and Kid Myach. They said I looked too old to be a college student. I suppose they were right since I was about 33 at the time. Of course, Kid Myach was about 38 at the time so that didn't make me feel any better.
Anyway, after all of that, I've gotten pretty used to getting snubbed. I don't think anyone honestly gets to the point where stuff like that doesn't bother them, but eventually you reach a point where it's not unexpected.
So fast forward to yesterday when we got to see what looks like it'll be the final cut of our new commercial. It looks great. Way better than our last commercial in my opinion. There's a lot more actual Myachi playing, there are some really sick shots at the school, some really cool shots from one of the Maniac's houses, some great shots of Myachi Man out in Florida teaching people to play on the beach and some cool stuff that we shot in the office.
But given the theme of this blog entry I bet you can guess what they didn't have.
I guess it's kind of indulgent to spend a whole blog griping about getting cut out of stuff. I'll admit that, but it still didn't stop me from doing it. It's kind of like getting picked last for basketball... actually it's a little more like being the only one that doesn't get picked at all for basketball. Even if you know it's coming it still stings.
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| I got snubbed from this photo as well! |
Of course, I'll take comfort in the fact that I'm in the old commercial, the DVD and half of every Myachi video on YouTube or so, but there are some people who got the snub who probably aren't as comfortable with it as I am.
It was bound to happen. We had so many kids respond to our casting call that many of them weren't selected to be in at all and many of the ones who were selected didn't make the final cut (or are in the background for half a second) and I think they'll take it a little worse than I did... well... I don't know, I guess none of them will write a whole blog entry to complain about it so maybe I'll be the whiniest.
There are a couple of really deserving maniacs who have only the briefest second of face time (or none at all) and I wanted to forewarn them so they don't have their extended family watching the commercial with them when they find out.
I won't be mentioning everyone who didn't make the cut here. To be honest I'm not even sure who all was there so I don't know who all got snubbed, but there were a couple of snubs that I found painful so I figured I'd mention them:
Mantis:
Quite possibly the world's greatest Myachi player and you don't see his face at all in the commercial. He threw down a sick 4 sack jam at the HQ and some other cool stuff on day 2 but none of it made its way into the final cut. He is actually in the commercial, but all you see is his hand.
The one positive is that the part with Mantis' hand might be the coolest shot in the whole commercial. They strapped a mini camera to his arm and then recorded him throwing down an Impossible and the result is every bit as cool as it sounds (if not more).
Jacksib:
Yes, Pickleguy! This dude came all the way from Ohio, got sick, wound up in the hospital and still made the second day of the shoot. He actually didn't get entirely snubbed. You see him for a second on a pan through a school hallway and there's a really cool shot (one of the coolest in the commercial) where he throws down a little shred and then tosses a Myachi behind his back into an open locker.
Sounds great, right? It is. The problem is that all you see of Jacksib is the back of his head during that shot. He didn't get snubbed as bad as Mantis but given all he went through to make it to the shoot he certainly deserved a little more air time than he got.
Junkie:
Of all the snubs this one surprised me the most. I don't want to embarrass him, but Junkie was made for TV. He's got a million dollar smile, sick skills and the ladies can't get enough of him. Yet somehow when they went to cut the commercial they only get him on camera for a nanosecond or two. I'll have to look again but I think the only shot he's in is a shot where they pan back from a hall full of kids and they all say "Myachi!" together.
Pinky:
The prettiest person in the place and the cutest in the company and yet somehow they managed to leave Pinky out as well! Now, I understand why nobody would want to look at my old, grizzled, middle-aged mug, but Pinky's gorgeous and from a distance you wouldn't know that she was older than all the kids!
Yet somehow Pinky also got left on the cutting room floor. I'm assuming it was a dedication thing. She probably saw me hanging out on the cutting room floor and couldn't bear to leave me.
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All that being said, the commercial is still awesome. It's a Mantis, a Jacksib, a Junkie and a Pinky short of perfection, but it's still pretty darned good. The first air date is right around the corner and believe me, you'll hear about it on this blog as soon as I have times and channels.
And a quick note for all the deserving maniacs who auditioned and didn't get to come to the shoot, look on the bright side, you're in the commercial as much as Pinky and I are...
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