Saturday, April 30, 2011

Save the Space Aliens!

by Crazy Ivan

Alright guys and gals, I haven't lost track of the fact that this is a Myachi blog or anything.  Up to this point I've never bothered to bring up anything here that wasn't directly related to Myachi and thus important to our loyal readers.  I'm not the kind of person to burden you with my own pet causes.  It wouldn't be fair to use this blog as a soap box to push through my own personal concerns.

So I promise not to do that... very often.

But this one is really important.

SETI is running out of money.  For those who don't know, SETI is a (primarily) privately funded effort to search for signs of extra-terrestrial intelligence (space aliens).  If you've ever watched the movie Contact, that was the group Jodie Foster worked for.  And while we're on the subject, sorry you sat through that whole movie just for that silly ending.

Anyway, SETI has a giant array of radio telescopes that they use to scan the heavens for stray radio signals that might indicate life on other planets.  This might seem like the stuff of science fiction, but it remains the most likely way we have of finding out if ET is out there trying to phone us.

This is only a fraction of it... and a tiny one at that.
There are also a lot of other functions for this gigantic array, including but not limited to helping track space junk that could threaten our satellites (which could result in making Myachi HQ even harder to find on your GPS) or even the International Space Station.

The program has been essentially suspended due to funding cuts.  Right now 42 ridiculously awesome testaments of modern technology are sitting in "hibernation" while the director of SETI goes out and looks for money.  They're looking for a big donor to kick in on one of the most important pure research tools in the world, but they're also accepting small donations from individuals (and probably large donations from individuals as well).

You can get all the details on their home page by clicking here.

I'm something of a science geek (and proud to admit it) so finding out that the space shuttle program was coming to an end was kind of tough on me.  Living in a country that is essentially space program-less doesn't appeal to me at all.  Knowing that they might have to shut SETI down is too depressing to consider.

Not to mention the trauma of losing my 7th favorite planet.
I know that most of my readers are unemployed (not because they're lazy... most of them are kids), but I think that this information should be flooding into every public forum you can find.  So if you can't donate to SETI, do the next best thing and SPREAD THE WORD!  That's one thing that Myachi Maniacs are really good at.

Tweet about it, put in on your Facebook page, tell your friends and family, tell your science teacher, tell your eccentric wealthy grandfather or tell the Men in Black that hover near that circular burnt spot in the forest behind your house.  Just get the word out.  If you've ever thought about how incredibly cool it would be to know that there is life on other planets, or even better, how cool it would be to talk to that life, the least you can do is help chip in on the phone call.

Again, I'm sorry for using the Myachi Blog for something so thoroughly not Myachi and I promise not to do it often, but this is some important stuff.

Too Quiet and Too Clean

by Crazy Ivan

Mad busy day at HQ today so I don't have time to write much.  But I did want to take a second to acknowledge just how boring the House of Skills has been since Mav and Animal left.  With Kore gone, Noodles a couple of weeks from moving in and Kid Myach spending most nights at his girlfriend's place, that leaves only Pinky, Monk and I to occupy this big, four story house.  Not only are more than half the residents missing, but it was the noisy half at that.

At first it was a quaint little novelty.  When we cleaned up the living room, it just stayed clean.  When it was time to go to bed we weren't interrupted by the sounds of random juggling props slamming against the floor above us.  When I went to the computer, there was nobody on it.  When I got thirsty, the jug of water in the fridge would actually have water in it.

For a while that was pretty cool.  Monk spends most of his time upstairs in his room and if I had to guess, I'd say that he spends about 65% of his off-work time adjusting his fantasy baseball roster (I'm going by how often that's what he's doing when I pop in on him).  Pinky spends at least that much time engulfed in a story on her E-Reader (it's like a Kindle but more expensive and less functional) so I've practically had the house to myself for a month.

But the new smell wears off on that pretty quickly and now I just miss having my friends around.  There's hardly ever anyone to slack-line with, there's nobody there I can beat at ping pong and Nerf wars are way too predictable when it's just me against Monk.  And to be perfectly honest, all that peace and quiet is really starting to get to me.

Not many people are lucky enough to live with several of their best friends and those that are usually overlook how awesome that arrangement is.  It's easy to do because when you live with somebody you see them in good times and bad.  You're constantly confronted by things like their unwashed dishes, their messes, their annoying musical tastes, their bad taste in movies... whatever.  In fact, it's actually pretty easy to get so caught up in these petty annoyances that you completely forget that the person is also awesome.

Nothing like a few weeks of absence to make you forget all about the bad stuff.  I personally can't wait for those guys to get back.  I can't exactly speak for Monk, but he's been long-boarding by himself since they left and now that the weather is so nice I'm sure he's dying for somebody to cruise with.  I'd go myself, but Animal and Mav took their boards with them and I can't bring myself to spend more than $100 on anything you can't buy from the Dube Store.

The wait is almost over and I'm sure that within a couple of weeks I'll be listening to the sounds of Animal's newest video game obsession echoing down the stairs and silently asking Australia to take them back.  But in truth I know what really matters and surrounding yourself with friends is one of those things that matters at every stage of your life.

So if the pilot of their flight happens to read this by some odd chance, hustle bro.  I have new tricks to show them!

A Tearful Admission

by Crazy Ivan

Have you ever done something that started as a joke and then got too big?  What began as a seemingly harmless lie seemed to grow legs of its own and expanded into a web of deceit?  Well, I've had a situation like that over the past few days and it's really been gnawing at me.  I guess it's high time for me to come clean.

I, Crazy Ivan, am the super-hacker responsible for the PlayStation Network debacle.

It started innocently enough.  I figured online gaming addicts were a waiting submarket for Myachi if only we could get them out of the basement long enough to play.  I figured if I broke in and hamstrung the system it would send thousands upon thousands of pasty skinned, Mountain Dew stained introverts squinting into the sunlight and hearing the rustling breeze for the first time.

As it turned out, that didn't happen.  Instead of coming outside to play, they stayed indoors and made PlayStation commercial parodies and put them on You-Tube.  (I'd embed one, but I couldn't find any that didn't describe PSN in language inappropriate for this blog)

So anyway, sorry about that.  I'll have it back up tomorrow or the next day and Sony has graciously agreed to leave my name and involvement out of it during their press conference.  Still, I felt like I owed the world a mea culpa.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Yet Another Deadline Extended!

by Crazy Ivan

Alright, so when I first announced the "Myachi Hits Australia" art contest, I made the deadline about 35 minutes ago.  I've had a habit of arbitrarily extending deadlines in the past, so I was pretty determined not to do it again with this one.

But then something unexpected and pretty cool happened and I decided to give you guys two more days.

There's a rumor circulating that Mav and Animal might be coming back a couple of days early.  I hear tell that they might be back as early as Sunday, which is so close it's tomorrow.

That being said, I thought it would be really cool if I could get the two guys who just got back from Australia to do the judging so I'l delaying the announcement of the winners until Monday morning.

By then either Mav and Animal will be back (and probably tired enough to resent me for making them judge a contest as soon as they get done with a 30 hour flight) or I'll know they're not going to be back in time so I can just announce the winners.

That being said, I figured I might as well make some room for a few late entries.  So if you haven't entered (or if you have but want to increase your odds by making another entry), feel free.  I'll be accepting entries up until 8 o'clock Sunday night.  I warn you though, there's some pretty funny stuff in my inbox.

If you need a refresher on the contest, it's like this:

  • Draw or otherwise render a picture.  The theme is "Myachi hits Australia".
  • We're looking for the funniest entry so humor is the key to winning.
  • You can enter as many times as you like.
  • The grand prize is an extremely hard to come by, only released in Australia THEATRIX Myachi so do good.
  • E-mail your entries to me at
  • Judges decisions (whomever that may be) are final.

Doing Good Work

by Crazy Ivan

The whole Myachi Master thing comes with a few groovy perks.  We get a pretty cool place to live, an office with a ping pong table in it, a lot of travel and free toys.  I can't think of a job that would be more fun.

Okay... maybe I can think of one.

And as if all that wasn't good enough, we also get to go home everyday knowing that we've made a positive difference in the world.  I've written a few times before about the health benefits of Myachi so I won't spend a lot of time here rehashing the way it helps fight obesity, encourages people to be active, improves flexibility and coordination and increases stamina.  There are also a host of psychological benefits we could talk about, but I'll save that for another day.

Today, I want to talk about the social benefits of Myachi.

It's been on my mind since the event Kid and I did on Wednesday.  As you may know, Kid and I spent Wednesday in Massachusetts at North Attleboro Middle School.  Like thousands of schools across the country, they participate in the American Heart Association's "Hoops for Hearts" program.  The thing that sets North Attleboro apart from the thousands of others is that they raised more than twice as much money as the next highest school.

Here, the student body is seen whooping the rest of the country.
Apparently, they've got that on lock.  For more than a decade this one school has radically outperformed every other school in the country when it comes to raising money for heart disease research.  It's such a big deal that the president of the American Heart Association showed up just to lend his support (and figure out what they were doing so right).

Myachi played a very small role in the whole thing.  See, it's one of those deals where every student who could raise a certain amount of money got to come to this awesome after-party complete with bounce houses, temporary tattoos, fitness competitions, a dunk-the-principal tank and, of course, a couple of Myachi Masters selling Myachis to help raise even more money for the cause.

This was Myachi's third year at the event but it was my first time going.  All the students were asking if Noodles was coming so he must have made a real splash there last year.  I'm afraid to say that I couldn't possibly have been as cool as Noodles (I don't break dance or beat box), but even without Noodles we still had a blast.

Kid Myach was in full blown contest mode for about 3 solid hours.  They'd given us a couple of cases of T-Shirts to give out as contest prizes so Kid was doing long distance trials all afternoon.  Catch a Myachi from 20 feet away, win a T-Shirt.  Pretty good deal right?
Of course, after a while we ran out of T-Shirts (before I could snag one for myself) so then Kid shifted gears to big air contests.  We'd brought along a couple of DVD combo packs so he did a couple tournaments to give those out as well.

And don't worry, by round 3 he made them
go after it one handed.

By the end of the night we'd sold almost 400 Myachis (with the proceeds going, of course, to the American Heart Association) and we'd brought a ton of new talent into the game.  It was a long day and a long drive, but when you're doing good work, the hours just kind of melt together.  By next week I'll have forgotten how sore I was by day's end, but I won't forget the feeling of helping raise money for a good cause.  The good parts of memories always echo longer than the tough parts.

Ro-Sham-Bo, Myachi Style

by Crazy Ivan

Somebody brought this up on Facebook the other day and it occurred to me that I'd yet to mention it on the blog.  It's actually one of the more common Myachi games played at the House of Skills, though usually it's utilized in place of a coin flip or something like that.

It's a Myachified version of the classic "Rock, Paper, Scissors", also known as "Roshambo", or, if you're snooty, "Rouchambeau" (and камень-ножницы-бумага if you're Russian... not sure how that's spelled if you're Russian and Snooty).

Essentially you play it the same way as you play regular Rock, Paper, Scissors, except that now there's a Myachi on your hand.  You still do the familiar "rock... paper... scissors... shoot!" to start it off and you still throw one of the three hand gestures.  Rock still beats scissors, scissors still beat paper and paper still beats rock.  The difference, though, is that you also have to catch your Myachi.  If you drop, the other player wins regardless of what they threw.

There are really two ways to play, an easy version and a hard version.  The degree of difficulty really comes down to how you catch the Myachi in each hand position.  I've taken the liberty of making up a little chart to demonstrate the differences:

Now, to be perfectly honest, we've never played with the Rock catch that you see in the hard column above.  At the House of Skills we use the hard version of the paper and scissors and the easy version of rock.  I honestly only tossed that in so that the chart would be even so I can't say how hard it would be to play with that catch.  My guess is really, really hard...

So if you're like me in that (a) you always have a couple of Myachis on you and (b) you use Roshambo to make all the big decisions in your life, try this one out.  It gives a new twist to an old game, it makes you really good at  those shark-style catches and it gives you a reason to love your longboards.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Pets at the House of Skills

by Crazy Ivan

Back in the days of the Myachi Mobile, pets were obviously out of the question.  A dog might have managed that much travel, but having to look after one while spending ten hours a day at an event wasn't very plausible.

But now we've got the House of Skills.  Kid is allergic so much to Monk's dismay we don't have a dog (though he never stops trying).  Pinky and I, however, do have a couple of cats.  They're usually secluded in our downstairs apartment, but they are doubtless still members of the House of Skills.

That being said, they have to have some skills.  We can't just go letting them off easy just because they're animals.  Luckily, Pinky has a way with Animals that's pretty darned impressive.  Sorry for the poor lighting, but I think you can make out all the details just fine:

The 360 Dilemma

by Crazy Ivan

The 360 is one of Myachi's staple moves.  Patterned after the infamous soccer trick called "Around the World", a move that quickly became a staple of footbaggers, the 360 is a relatively simple move that creeps into literally thousands of Myachi moves and combos.

The Around the World is a cool trick, but it takes 80 days to do...

In the footbag world, the "Around the World" is done on the toe.  You pop the hacky sack up, move your foot and calf in a circle around it and then catch back on your toe.  In Myachi this move is called a "Foot 360", though many staunch footbag fans still call it the "Around the World".  But the hand version is a far easier move to master.  So much so that where it might take a few months or even a few years to learn a toe 720, a 720 on the hands is something that a pretty coordinated player can hit on their first day.

In the footbag world, nobody's surpassed a 1440.  Well... I'm not as up to speed on my footbagging records so I could be wrong on that, but I seriously doubt it.  Only the best of the best can manage a 1080 so it's hard to imagine anybody doing an 1800 unless they were about 9 foot 4 (about 2.8 meters for our European readers).

The upper body version of this move, on the other hand (get it? hand?  It's just like comedy!), is much easier to do and moves much quicker.  Because of that, a determined Myachi player can rack up those multiples of three hundred and sixty pretty quick.  A 360 and 720 can be learned in a flash, but even a 1080 will yield to a determined player with only a few days of practice.

When you go above 1080 things get a little bit tougher.  To do a 1440 and and an 1800, not only will you need practice, you'll also need a few physical advantages as well.  Height becomes a huge factor when you start adding rotations and there's an obvious reason why.  For a true 360, your hand must go all the way around the Myachi, both over it and under it.

See, many of the 720s and 1080s you've probably seen people do wouldn't hold up to a technical inspection.  A lot of people just vaguely wave their hand in a circle somewhere around the Myachi and call it a rotation and if that's your standard you can probably work your way up to 6120 after a while.  But the real Myachi standard is much tougher.  You have to orbit the Myachi during each rotation.

Obviously, if your hand has to go over the Myachi, you can't throw any higher than you can reach.  This is where the height thing makes a big difference.  In order to give yourself enough time to get four or more rotations, you'll have to start and end pretty low to the ground.

Wait... not that low to the ground.
You'll want your hand a few inches off the ground to start.  That way you can start circling the Myachi while it's still heading up.  The problem is, you can only throw as high as you can reach so if you're 4 foot 5, you're not going to be able to throw as high as somebody who is 6 foot 8.

So now we get to the big question that is the ultimate point of this entire article:  What's the record?

Well, no surprise, it's not a clear cut case.  Many people have hit undeniable 1800s and several people claim 2160s (including the author), but as of now there is no real video evidence of a 2160.  I'm pretty darned sure that I've hit the 2160 a number of times, but things get moving so fast at that point that it's impossible to tell for sure if you're actually getting full and fair rotations.

To know for sure, the act would have to be captured on a pretty good camera and it would have to be from a certain angle.  A straight on shot wouldn't tell you if the hand was going around the Myachi (as opposed to just making circles behind it) so you'd have to be able to see it from the side.  I'm certain that evidence will show up soon because I believe there are a number of people out there that can hit honest 2160s, but until the evidence proves it we can't say definitively that 6 rotations is the record.

There are plenty of claims of much higher numbers.  There have been You-Tube videos claiming 2520s,  2880s and even a 3600 at one point.  When you check these videos, you'll find that the evidence is lacking.  The movements on anything over an 1800 are so fast that a real time video is all but useless in assessing these claims.  Invariably, these videos are too far away or too grainy to back up the claim at all.

Officially, the record stands at 1800, though we all know unofficially that this record has been broken.  If you can provide a solid video of anything above six rotations, you'll be the new record holder.  Just keep in mind that we'll want some pretty substantial evidence, so don't film in from 25 feet away on your little sister's phone.

When The Forums Are Down...

As many of you know, our forum has been down for almost 40 hours now.  For those that frequent on a daily basis (like myself) this can be extremely frustrating.  I want everyone to rest assured that we have our best people (Pinky and Kid) working on this problem right now and hopefully service will be restored by the time school lets out today.

But in the meantime, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on the temporary loss of our beloved message board.  I feel like I should apologize to those who aren't on the forum though, as very little of what follows will make any sense to you at all:


When the forums are down, I cannot connect,
  with some of my best friends online.
Now the forums are down, I know cause I checked,
  and it frustrates my need to opine.

As we patiently wait for the forum's return
  I'm left to quite plainly face,
What a role in my life the forum has earned
  and how often I visit that place.

It seems twice an hour as I sit at this Mac,
  despite knowing Jred won't load,
I'll click on my favorites and find myself back
  at a page with some error code.

I'll wonder if Downtown is back there and posting,
  I'll wonder if Monki is well.
I'll wonder if Mantis is pridefully boasting,
  And joking with MMFL.

I'll wonder if Gold is done with his contest,
  I'll wonder if Rotscale won.
I'll wonder if Bones is still being modest 
  And if Fresh's next episode's done.

I'll wonder if Champ has done any STWAKOJ,
  Or if Katana's made up a new trick.
I'll wonder if DGH has programmed
  Something complex and awesomely sick.

I'll wonder about CMC's collection,
  I'll wonder if Claymore's been back.
I'll wonder if there's any news worth reflection
  Regarding the new forum sack.

But foremost of all as I sit here and wonder,
  The thing that I'll ponder the most,
Is when we can get our forum from under
  Such a poor, unreliable host.

My hope is that soon, and I mean within hours,
  I'll be on there starting a thread,
Because Kid Myach will summon the powers
  And bring Jred back from the dead.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Quick, Before I Pass Out

by Crazy Ivan

Kid Myach and I spent our day in Massachusetts, rocking things out at a benefit for Hoops for Hearts.  We were at North Atterborough Middle School, which managed to lead the entire country in fund raising for the American Heart Association.  Part of the reward for raising over $50,000 for research on heart disease is that a couple of Myachi Masters show up at your school and rock it out during your extravagant and unimaginably awesome reward party.

The good news is that we had a great time, the students had a great time, tens of thousands of dollars were raised for a good cause, hundreds of new people are into the game and just the Myachi sales raised almost another thousand dollars for research that will ultimately save people's lives.  The bad news is that I'm so beat right now that I can barely hold my eyes open long enough to finish this paragraph.

There was a 3 and a half hour commute on either side of this thing and there was New York-ish traffic on the way back so I've really neglected the blog today.  To make matters worse, it's on a day when our forum was inexplicably crippled all day.  And I couldn't get on Facebook so the Myachi online community has really struggled for a day.

If it makes you feel any better, the money that we helped to raise might also eventually save your life.

That being said, I've gotta crash in the next ten minutes so that we can rectify the stagnancy of our vibrant online neighborhood tomorrow.

Good night.

Slow Blog Day

by Crazy Ivan

If you're the kind of person who waits in breathless anticipation for the latest update on this blog, I strongly urge you to just breath normally today.

Kid Myach and I are about to head up to Boston for an event that will eat up the whole day.  It will be mad fun and there will be epic STWAKOJ, but the consequence is that I won't be near a computer for most of the day.

That means, of course, that I won't be able to blog much.  I'll be throwing down a quick rundown of how the event went, but that won't be until late tonight.  This also means that the Trick of the Day will show up mad late and, as if that wasn't enough, it also means that I'll miss the Wednesday Night Brawl tonight.

That being said, definitely come for the brawl tonight.  Monk will be taking my place which just means that the MYACH games will be all that much tougher tonight.  And if you want, read this entry over and over again several times today.  That way our blog traffic will still look impressive today despite not really updating it.

Thanks for understanding!  I'll be back to full-blown blogging tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What is the Least Rare Myachi?

by Crazy Ivan

I'm actually surprised by how often I get asked this question.

I guess I shouldn't be since it's sort of a natural question to follow up "what is the rarest Myachi?" and I get that question all the time.  But when people ask me which Myachi is rarest, I can actually kind of give them an answer, but I never really know how to answer the opposite.

See, that's actually a pretty complicated question.  When somebody asks me which Myachi is least rare, what they really want to know is which is the least valued by collectors.  But there is no one Myachi that could occupy that position.

Granted, being the least valuable Myachi is like owning
the smallest yacht at the club... it's still a yacht.
Obviously, whichever Myachis came out most recently will be the "least rare".  At the time of this writing, the least rare sacks are the 5.0 series and that will change whenever we sell out of those.  Other contenders for "least rare" would be the NBA2 series and the NYC series, since most of those are still available for sale.

But technically none of those are the "least rare" Myachi.  The least rare sack would be the one that we made the most of.

Now, when we figure up the value of a Myachi, the year it was made is the biggest factor.  A Myachi that was made in small numbers yesterday is not as valued as a Myachi that was made in much larger numbers eight years ago.  When you look at the Trade Values on the Sackthology some of the numbers can really leave you scratching your head.  Some of the most valuable collectors items are actually far more numerous than commons.

Take as your example the Sobe 2002.  While it is a rather valued collectable Myachi, it is technically the "least rare" Myachi ever made.  We actually made 100,000 of those suckers so even now some 7.5% of every Myachi ever made was a Sobe 2002.

As you can see on this random graph that came up
when I Googled "pie chart", 33% is significantly larger than 10%
Even if we accept that over the past 9 years half of those were lost or destroyed there would still be more Sobe 2002s around than any other Myachi.  The next largest single run was the Dodge back in 2007 and we only made 49,000 of those.

In truth, though, far more than half of those Myachis have disappeared from the collectors market.  It would be far easier to find, say, a CMC even though there are only 150 of those in the world.  Even if the Sobe 2002 is technically the "least rare", it is far from the "least valuable".

But is there really a "least valuable" Myachi?

In a sense, there is.  Even though every Myachi in a particular series is just as rare as every other Myachi, some fabrics will sell out really quickly, making them harder to find later.  When the 5.0 series came out, we all predicted that the Hounds Tooth would be the fastest seller and so far it looks like we were right.  That means that the Hounds Tooth will disappear from the collector's market first and it will become the "rarest" or "most valuable" sack in the 5.0 series.

So if there's a "most valuable" in a series, it stands to reason that there would also be a "least valuable".  One might think that it would be the least popular sack in the series, since that one will be available for purchase longer than the others.  But the real answer is a bit more complicated than that.

You see, in the short term, the slowest seller will be the least valuable sack in the series, but in time it will rise in value.  These sacks will be traded out of collections faster and fewer and fewer collectors will actually have them.  A few weeks after a series sells out, the least popular sack will be the least valuable. But a few years after a series sells out, the least popular might be one of the hardest to find.

In truth, the only way you could know which Myachi in a particular series is the "least valuable" would be with a time machine.

And I'm guessing there are way cooler things you'd do with a time machine.

You'd have to go ahead five or ten years and find out which ones were still around and which weren't.  If you'd tried to predict the most valuable Myachi in the 1.0 series back in 2004, I don't think anybody would have put their money on the "Juice", but there is little question now that it is the hardest one to find.

Myachi Master Shred Contest

by Crazy Ivan

Bones has laid down the gauntlet.  The challenge has been issued.  The fires of the great arena shall be stoked once more as the Myachi Masters face off in epic battle.

Like this only with better graphics and no fireballs.
I mentioned on a blog the other day that I had never actually done a shred video.  I'd given myself a deadline to rectify that situation but before that deadline could arrive, Bones used the opportunity to suggest a bit of friendly competition.

For those that aren't aware, Bones posts on this blog as LiquidMayCry and his disputation came in the form of four words, all caps: "MYACHI MASTER SHRED CONTEST!!!!"

And I agree.

Now, that being said, we still have a few Myachi Masters out of the country so it wouldn't be fair to hold such a contest while they're still away, but they might be back as soon as the first of May (or as late as the eleventh) so this might still be a few weeks away.  But it absolutely has to happen.

I should mention that I haven't mentioned this to any of the Myachi Masters yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that all or most of them will accept the challenge.  Here's what I'm proposing (though it might be renegotiated later):

Step 1:

We get a bunch of Myachi Master to sign on for this.  While I hope that everybody will be up for submitting a video, I think we can safely say that this contest absolutely has to include the following:

  • Maverick
  • Animal
  • Monk
  • Noodles
  • Bones
  • Bamboo
  • Crazy Ivan (I hear he's in)
That being said, I'd love to see the rest of the guys making a grab for the title as well.

Step 2:

We each film a video.  We'll have to decide whether we're doing unedited shreds or edited videos.  We'll also have to agree on an approximate length for the video, but I'm thinking somewhere in the 90 seconds to two minute range.

Editing is a big question.  An unedited video gives a much truer picture of somebody's ability to freestyle, but an edited video is just more fun to watch.  I don't want the title to go with the guy who just had more free time to devote to filming (as might be the case for an edited piece) but I also don't want to discourage everyone from making the coolest video possible.

One possible solution is to say we're going to make two minute videos, but each video has to contain at least one minute of continuous (unedited) shredding.  I'll see most of the guys tonight so we'll have a chance to sort all these details soon.

Step 3:

We would all upload our videos to YouTube on the same day and preferably at about the same time.  I would link them all here, on the Facebook Page, on Twitter, on the forum... basically everywhere we can think to put them.

Step 4:

The winner could be decided in a couple of different ways, but one way or the other it would come down to a vote from the Myachi Maniacs.  It could be based on You-Tube likes, it could be based on total views or we could just make a poll where you could vote here, on Facebook or on the forum.

One way or the other we'll figure out how we're going to do the voting well beforehand.  Then when the videos are debuted we will give the Myachi universe three days to vote on the winner and that person will earn bragging rights at every Myachi get together for the rest of time.


If you have any ideas or suggestions for how we can go about making this happen, please leave them in the comments section below.  Once we've finalized stuff like dates and rules, I'll post all the details.

Reasons Why I Love My Job #106

by Crazy Ivan

So today I'm off and chilling in the beautiful weather.  I had to hit up the ATM to grab some cash this morning and since the weather is so ridiculously pleasant today I decided to break out my unicycle for the first time this year.

Had to air up the tire and take a couple of practice runs up and down the street before I was ready to brave the full trip.  When the weather gets nice the sidewalks get a lot more crowded so you've got to be pretty on your game to ride a unicycle down them.  I suppose I should mention that when I hit big crowds I get off and walk my uni until the crowds peter out.  Safety first and all.

Anyway, so I head through picturesque Forest Hills and along the way I'm getting the typical looks you get when you ride the five boroughs on one-wheel.  Some people just kind of stare like they're not sure if they've just been magically transported to a circus, but most people smile and it's pretty cool to ride around on something that makes everybody smile.

By the time I made it to the bank I'm sweating something fierce.  For those of you who don't ride a unicycle (and believe it or not, that isn't all of our readers) you should know that riding one of those things is a serious physical chore.  Most people assume it's about like riding a bicycle, but on a unicycle the crank arms are attached directly to the wheel.  If you want that tire to spin, your pedaling.  Unlike a bike, there is no coasting on a unicycle (unless you're incredibly skilled).

So I step off my unicycle and walk into the bank.  There are 3 ATMs there but there's still a pretty serious line.  Four people are ahead of me and one is a mother who had three kids who are bored and testing her patience.  They'd seen me come up on the unicycle and clearly they were fascinated.  I kind of wanted to ride it around the lobby of the bank for a minute to entertain them, but I had a sneaking suspicion that the bank security would have issues with that.

Instead, I did the next best thing... or maybe the first best thing.  I pulled out a Myachi.

Two of the kids were little guys.  One was still in a stroller and another was about 5, but the oldest (all boys) was maybe 7 or 8 so he was old enough to play.  So I throw down a quick shred to get their attention.  Well, maybe the shred was a little too good because pretty soon I had everyone's attention.  Like, all the customers, all the tellers and the two security dudes.

The oldest boy looks to his mom and says, "mom, can I play?"

The mom looks at me as though to relay the question so I nod and she nods back.  I go into Myachi Master autopilot (which starts with the words, "You're in bro... hold your hand out like this... spread those fingers out...) and start doing my thing.

Well, one of the other customers in line looks pretty interested too and I don't care that he's in his forties, he's still a kid in my eyes.  "Here you go," I say, turning to him, "you're in too."

I had 5 Myachis on me so within two minutes I've got four people playing and I'm using the fifth one to demonstrate the tricks.  The five year old is going nuts because he doesn't have one to play with so I pass him my last one and start demoing with my phone.  It's about then that I notice the security guy approaching out of the corner of my eye.

The older kid sticks an under the leg on his fourth try and when he does, the whole crowd by the ATMs goes nuts.  They're all cheering for this dude and he's blushing like crazy.  The five year old is laughing and shaking my Static Cling like it was a maraca.  Some dude in a $900 suit is throwing down a Wolverine.  The mom is keeping half an eye on her kids while she makes her withdrawal in piece.  Two old ladies are asking me if I really ride that unicycle.

And then the security guard gets there.  This is usually about the time the fun stops.

But not this time.  "Is that a Myachi?" the guard asks.

Surprised that he knows the name, I must have responded with a pause.

"One of those hand hacky sacks, right?"

"Exactly.  How do you know the game?"

"My son saw it on TV and ever since then he's been asking me for one."

Through this little back and forth everyone is still jamming.  The business man tosses back the Myachi so he can go about his banking business so I toss the security guard in.  He catches it clean and I'm about to teach him the Cold Fusion when he stops me.

"I can't," he says, handing back the Myachi, "I'm at work."

I nod.  I understand, of course.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have a job where they're required to play with toys.  "Keep it," I offer.  It was a Dwight Howard sack I wasn't particularly attached to.  "Check us out on You-Tube and Facebook.  You can learn a few moves and teach them to your son."

He smiles and thanks me and heads back to his post.  I smile inward, knowing that I just made some kid I'd never met really happy.  I'd also made a few kids I had met pretty happy as well and about then I had to gather back the Myachis I'd loaned them.  Mom was ready to go.  I asked her if it would be okay to give them a Myachi (I always get mom's permission) and she accepted graciously.  Couldn't give up my Static Cling, of course, so I hooked them up with a Boss Tweed I had on me.

So that would have been the end of the story except that the oldest kid asked my about my unicycle before they left.  "Can you really ride that?" he asked.

I glanced over at my new buddy, the security guard.  He laughed and waved his hand dismissively, very purposely looking the other way while I hopped up and rode around the lobby for a few seconds.  I did a quick figure 8 around the little tables where they keep the deposit slips and stuff then rolled through the little velvet rope that cordons off the teller's line while throwing down some basic swap tricks with my Static Cling.

When I hop off I actually got a round of applause from half the people in the bank.  Had it not been for the incredible power of Myachi, I probably would have gotten arrested for doing that.  Instead, I get a standing ovation... albeit from people who were already standing.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Tips for Naming a Trick

by Crazy Ivan

The appeal of inventing a trick is pretty obvious.  Not only is it an awesome exercise that challenges both your skills and your creativity, but it also offers you a chance to achieve a small level of Myachi immortality.  In fact, a cool enough move could earn you a significant place in Myachi history.

But coming up with the trick is really only half the battle.  Many great tricks have been invented without their inventors ever getting much credit for them.  Now sometimes that's just because the move never got popular.  Some tricks are just before their time, others are so tough that few people can do them and still others just don't look cool enough to make it worthwhile to use them in a shred.

If that's the case the best thing you can do is go back to the drawing board and try to come up with another trick while asking yourself why the other one never caught on.  But there's another problem that often shows up as well.  Sometimes a trick fails to gain popularity simply because it doesn't have a cool enough name.

It's very important that you not glaze over the part where you assign the trick a monicker.  If you have a cool move with a lame name that's an insult to the trick.  It's also a guarantee that the move, even if it does become popular and widespread, probably won't be remembered as your invention.  Instead, people will more often associate it with whoever came up with a cooler name for it.

There is no real "trick registry" in Myachi.  You might be the first person to put a move on You-Tube, for example, but that doesn't really mean you were the first to do it.  Many people post "new moves" only to discover that they're actually reinventing a trick that's been around for years.  In most of those cases, they were unaware of the move because it didn't have a cool name.

I can't overestimate the importance of coming up with a cool name that will be remembered in association with your move.  I've come up with a couple of quick pointers to aid you in fashioning an unforgettable title for your trick, but in the end it's going to come down to your creativity.

 #1) Ask Yourself What the Move Looks Like 

Clearly, the name needs to be cool.  If you name your move "the Happy Balloon", I'm guessing nobody is going to want to call it in MYACH.  But a cool name isn't enough.  If you called your move "the Razor's Edge" it might be cool, but it could also fall flat if there was nothing about the move that made people think of razors or edges.

The name should be easy to associate with the trick.  If at all possible, the name should have an ironic or witty connection to the move so that when you see the trick you can't help but think of the move.  Think of tricks like the "Blind Squirrel", the "Punisher" and the "Atlas" for examples of appropriate (and cool) names.

 #2) Don't Name it After Yourself 

Adding your name or your nickname to a trick is usually a bad idea.  I know that sounds disingenuous coming from a person who is actually named after a trick, but there was a big difference in my case.  First of all, I was named after the trick; the trick wasn't named after me.  Secondly I wasn't trying to popularize a new move with that name.  The name for the trick had already caught on and I was just borrowing my nickname from it.

But far too many people name moves thing like "George's Hammer" or "The Charlie" and those ones almost never pan out.  Even if you have a cool Myachi nickname, if the trick doesn't remind people of whatever your nickname is, it probably won't catch on.

 #3) Don't Use an Obscure Name 

We name a lot of our tricks after superheroes, movies and pro athletes so those are really good sources of cool names.  But it's important that when you go that route you don't use something too obscure.  A move named after the Green Goblin is going to evoke images of Spidey's nemesis but a move named after Wyatt Wingfoot people are going to respond with a blank stare.

(He was a minor super-powerless sub-character that was first introduced in Fantastic Four and later crossed over into a bunch of different Marvel franchises.  I add that in case you've got more important stuff to Google)

 #4) Keep it Short 

Two or three words is the maximum for a Myachi move.  A move that starts sounding like the technical name of a piece of classical music is not going to catch on.  Whenever possible, you want a one word name like "the ____" but you can also get away with a single modifier if it makes sense.  A move called "the _____ing ____" will work if it makes sense.  The "Flying Fish" is a great name for a move, but the "Bicycling Fish" probably won't catch on.

In some circumstances you can get away with a three word name, but only rarely.  Moves like the "Duck and Dive" or the "Flying Space Cowboy" are definitely the exception rather than the rule.

 #5) Stay With the Theme 

Many moves are going to be subtle variations on existing moves and when that's the case it's always best to keep your name close to the name for the existing move.  For example, when you do an Under the Leg catch without lifting your leg, it's called a Spider.  If you do it Yoga style it's called a "Daddy Long Legs".  If you do it in a Subter-Fusion pattern it's called the "Tarantula".  If you do it under both legs it's called the "Black Widow".

If you came up with another variation on this move, you'd probably be best off giving it a "spider" related name that fits with the existing family of tricks.  If you called it the "Scepter" it would seem really odd fitting in with all those arachnid names.

There are many themes like this that serve as undercurrents through whole families of tricks.  Which bring us to our final point:

 #6) Learn Popular Trick Names 

This is perhaps the most important piece of advice I can give you.  If you didn't know, for example, what a Spider Under the Leg was, you wouldn't know to name your moves after the Spider theme.  If you didn't know that flip tricks are usually named after skateboarding moves you might give a move a radically off-base name.

It will also help save you the trouble of inventing new moves that have actually already been invented.  Try to look at as many tricks as you possibly can.  Not only will they give you good name ideas, but they will also give you good ideas of new tricks and combos to try.

Also keep in mind that some of the tricks you come across might be waiting for better names.  Even if you didn't invent the trick, offering a relatively unknown trick a really cool new name might bring it out into the open.  In that case, it might not be a trick you invented, but it might still earn you that little slice of immortality.


I know this goes without saying, but if you have any additional advice you'd like to give, please leave it in the comments section below.

New Playlists

by Crazy Ivan

Just a brief little post here to make everyone aware of a couple of new playlists we've added to our You-Tube channel.  As the Trick of the Day swells the total number of Myachi tricks we've got instructional videos for, it's becoming harder and harder for people to find the right moves for their skill level.  After all, it doesn't do you much good to try to learn the Jedi if you're just getting started.  Similarly, the Batman isn't going to give you much of a challenge if you're an experienced player.

For that reason, we've divided up all the official trick videos into one of four categories:

Myachi Tricks for Beginners
Myachi Tricks for Intermediate Players
Myachi Tricks for Advanced Players
Myachi Tricks for Masters

You'll note that if you check all the playlists that the "Masters" list is woefully lacking.  There are, thus far, only five videos on the list.  That's obviously because we very rarely use super-tough moves on the "Trick of the Day", but over the next few months we'll be looking to expand that category more than the others.

I should also note ahead of time that there are bound to be some disagreements as to what belongs where in a difficulty rating scale.  After all, terms like "beginner", "intermediate" and "advanced" are pretty vague.  There is no definite line that separates beginner from intermediate so there will be some inevitable debates abut certain tricks.

My goal is to make these lists as useful as possible so if I find that I've radically over- or underestimated the difficulty of one of these tricks, I'll be happy to move it to a different playlist.  That being said, I expect that many people will take issue with one or two tricks and one person disagreeing with the tricks placement won't be enough to prompt me to move it.  If, however, I hear from several people that one trick is ranked too low or too high, I'll swap it over.

I also intend to add a few more big playlists in the next week or two.  I'll be adding a "Foot Tricks" playlist and a "2 Myachi Tricks" playlist, but if there are any others you'd like to see added to Myachi's official channel, let me know.  Or, even better, make a playlist of your own and submit it to me.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Contest for Writers

by Crazy Ivan

With the YouTube Tournament having just wrapped up and the Australian art contest reaching its halfway point I guess it's about time to announce another contest.  I've been informed that I favor artists too much on this blog so I've decided to back away from that for a moment and favor those with sick wordsmith's skills instead.

In my youth people wrote with little graphite sticks
embedded in wooden columns.  We called them pencils.

So here's your mission (if you choose to accept it):  Tell us why you play Myachi.  That's pretty much all there is to it.

Like all of our contests, there will be a sick prize for 1st place and not quite as sick of prizes for 2nd and 3rd place.  The Grand Prize winner on this one will be receiving their choice of a Suffolk Downs or Oaxaca Myachi (both limited edition Pakisacks that are notoriously great jammers) and the 2nd and 3rd place runners up will receive a 5.0 Myachi of their choice.

Like all of our contests, there are a few rules:
  • All entries must be received by Saturday, May 7th at midnight eastern standard time.
  • All entries should be between 100 and 1500 words (that's about 1 long paragraph up to about 2 pages).  Entries that are longer than 1500 words or fewer than 100 words may not be accepted as entries.  Entries significantly longer than 1500 words will definitely not be considered.  To obtain a valid word count, you can type your entry on Microsoft Word or cut and paste it to word once it is finished.
  • Entries that contain vulgar or offensive language will not be considered.
  • All entries become the property of Myachi Industries.  Myachi Industries reserved the right to use all entries in whole or in part for any purpose, commercial or otherwise, with or without reference to the original author.
  • All submissions should be written in English.
  • Submissions that contain a large number of misspellings, improper punctuation, improper grammar or text speak will not be considered.
  • Entries will be judged based on writing style and content.  All judges decisions are final.
Pretty simple right?  So once you've got your entry typed up, you can submit it by sending it to crazyivan@myachi.comOnly entries e-mailed to that address will be considered!  That means you can't just put your entry on the Myachi Forum or on our Facebook page.  I must receive it via e-mail before the May 7th deadline.

The top 3 entries will be published on the Myachi Blog on the 8th, 9th and 10th of May so that everybody can be in crazy suspense by the time I finally get around to telling you the grand prize winner.

Remember, this is a creative writing contest so be original.  The more creative the entry is, the more likely it will be to win.  If you have any questions or suggestions related to this contest, you can email me at the address above or you can leave them in the comments section below.

Thanks a ton and good luck to all.

Myachi Should be the Official Toy of Easter

by Crazy Ivan

Ah, memories of Easter.  Waking up early and bounding out of bed to rush out and locate all the eggs we'd colored the night before.  Well... almost all the eggs.  The last two would usually be found about a week later when the smell reminded my dad that there is such a thing as "too good" a hiding space.

As I look back on those days of chocolate bunnies, pastel eggs and really crowded church services, I notice that there is one thing woefully missing from my memories: Myachi.

Of course, when I was a kid Myachi had not yet been invented so I can excuse my parents for not making it a staple part of our annual celebration.  The same excuse cannot be used today so I propose that we set about making Myachi the official toy of Easter so that nobody has to suffer through Myachi-less Easter memories in the future.

Below are a few good reasons:

Myachis are Multi-Colored

One of the hallmarks of Easter is the bright, vivid colors of spring that we associate with it.  Whether it's the dyed eggs, the vibrant Easter dresses, the budding spring flowers or those weird pastel generic M&Ms that are suddenly everywhere, Easter is a very colorful holiday.

That makes Myachi a logical choice for the official toy of Easter as we have Myachis of every color of the rainbow and then some (after all, there's no Whackadoodle stripe on a rainbow).

Myachi is an Indoor & Outdoor Game

One of the unique things about Easter is the way it moves around the calender.  Easter is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox, because just picking a date would be too easy.  The result is that sometimes Easter is in March and it's still a little chilly.  Other times Easter falls late in April and it's gorgeous out (like today!), so it's important that Easter's official toy be one that can be played indoors or outdoors.

Myachis Fit in Easter Baskets

This is pretty much a prerequisite for anything that wants to be counted as the official toy of Easter.  You couldn't exactly make "Monopoly" the official toy of Easter without radically changing the size or dimensions of the traditional basket.  Myachis, on the other hand, could easily fit even if they were still packaged in the Blister Pack.  If they were loose, you could easily fit several Myachis into the basket and you'd likely challenge the weight limit before you ran out of room.  And seriously, ask yourself how much more awesome an Easter Basket would be with a couple 5.0s in it.

Myachis Fit in Plastic Eggs

Ah, plastic eggs, the treasure chests of my youth.  I recall a clucking chicken that would kick one of these things out for a quarter at the pizzeria my family and I used to frequent.  The prizes hidden inside always sucked, but despite that I still loved getting the eggs.  There was something about the suspenseful sense of mystery that existed up until I opened it and found out what kind of lame junk they were pawning off on me.

Granted it might have to be folded up and/or broken in a bit, but a Myachi would fit into one of those little plastic eggs pretty easy and it's hard to imagine a better egg-gift (other than hundred dollar bills).

Trix and Rabbits Go Hand in Hand

As everyone who grew up after 1959 knows that Trix are for kids and that rabbits are eternally frustrated by that fact.  Myachi has more trix than any breakfast cereal could ever hope for, so it stands to reason that a Myachi would be even more appealing to a rabbit than colorful puffs of high fructose corn syrup.  Besides, if you're at all familiar with the antics of the Trix Rabbit, you know that dude could use a Myachi to help calm him down from time to time.

Myachi Burns off Candy Calories

It's hard to talk about Easter for very long without bringing up candy.  Candy is a pivotal part of practically every celebration we have in the Western world and Easter is certainly no different.  Now, I'm certainly not anti-candy (because I'm not the Easter-Grinch), but we can't afford to ignore the consequences of our national obsession with sugar coated sugar crystals (which is actually what Nerds are).  I'm sure most nutritionists would agree that giving somebody a Myachi along with their candy would definitely help the national obesity epidemic.

The Easter Bunny is All About Some Myachi

As I've mentioned before, Myachi and the Myachi Masters have been on an ongoing mission for the Easter Bunny.  We were first approached back in 2001 and since then we've been hard at work replacing the notion of a "lucky rabbit's foot" with a "lucky Myachi".  This was, in fact, why we originally added the keychain loop onto old school Myachis.

Keep in mind that the Easter Bunny likes Myachis so it stands to reason that if you have a few of them you will (a) get more candy and (b) have an easier time finding the eggs.  I'm just saying that there's no rule against the Easter Bunny stashing one egg deep down in the shoes you were planning on wearing to church.

Myachi is a Family Game

All joking aside, the best thing about every holiday is the time that you get to spend with your family.  Easter is certainly no different so it stands to reason that any game that is adopted as Easter's official toy should be something that can be played by mom, dad, brother, sister, Stewie and Brian.  This is, ultimately, what crippled the 2008 effort to make Grand Theft Auto IV the official game of Easter.

Peeps Need Pillows Too

Now, many of you might be looking at this entry and thinking that I just couldn't think of ten reasons to make Myachi the official game of Easter and just had to throw in something silly to bring the number up.  That is, of course, not true.  I add this one because, of course, Myachis make great Peep pillows, but also because I realized that I was in danger of getting all the way through an Easter article without bringing up Peeps... and Peeps are awesome.

Myachi Should be the Official Toy of All Holidays

I make no claims at objectivity here, but I think that Myachi should ultimately be the official toy of every holiday and/or celebration in the world.  Whether it's Easter, Halloween, Superbowl Sunday, Arbor Day, Australia Day, Secretary's Day, or Water Quality Awareness Month (which is August, by the way) Myachi should be right there.  Very few games manage to capture the infinite playability, challenge, eclectic appeal and ability to pay my bills as Myachi.


Just a quick reminder that Mother's Day is right around the corner so if anybody has any suggestions for why Myachi should be the official toy of Mother's Day let me know.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Spring You-Tube Tournament Winners

by Crazy Ivan

Once again we have reached the close of another contest and once again I find myself in the awkward position of trying to determine which of the entries achieve the highest honor.  There was actually a much smaller than expected field of entrants, but I have a theory about that.  I firmly believe that the quality of the first few submissions was high enough to scare a number of potential contestants away.

Before listing the winners, I should say that I was incredibly impressed by the quality of the videos that we did get.  There have been a number of You-Tube contests in the past (though this was the first one actually sponsored by the company) and a lot of really solid videos have arisen from them.  But I think this contest has really raised the bar.  Not only on tournament videos, but on Myachi You-Tube videos in general.

Now without further ado (since I'm by myself at HQ and it's kind of hoppin' in here today), I present you the top 3 finishers in the first ever official Myachi You-Tube Tournament.

 #3) Myachi Gold

To be honest, the third place winner was the real killer when it came time to judge these videos.  There was a really close race between three contenders on this one, but Gold narrowly edged out his nearest competitors with the video you see above.  And when I say narrowly, I mean narrowly.  On the 100 point scale I used to judge these videos, he came in 2 points ahead of 4th place and 4 points ahead of 5th.

A well deserved win, Gold takes 3rd by the slightest of margins.  3rd place is worth, of course, 1 5.0 Myachi of his choice (so PM me or email me, Gold) and we'll get that prize out to you in no time.

 #2) Mantis

Mantis was the final entry in the tournament and before his video dropped it looked like it would be a run away victory for our first place finisher.  Before Mantis' last second entry there was really very little competition for the first place finish.  But Mantis came out swinging in the manner we've gotten used to.

The videos were judged on 3 criteria; skill, creativity and video quality.  Mantis took a commanding lead in Skill, which accounted for half of the total score.  In virtually any contest we'd ever seen before, this video would have been plenty to take the grand prize.  However, he came in behind the grand prize winner enough in the creativity and quality categories that he wound up missing the top prize by less than 5 points.

 #1) Your Shining Star, CMC

I honestly don't think there was much doubt in anyone's mind who would take the top honor in this contest. Not only did CMC show off some incredible skill, but he put out one of the most original and entertaining Myachi videos ever created. If you watched with the audio switched off, you have to go back and watch it again to understand exactly why this video takes first place.

A very well deserved win, CMC has really raised the bar for every You-Tube tournament we do in the future. Just having awesome skills is no longer enough to compete. It helps to do something nobody has ever done before.

Congratulations to our winners and to all of the entrants. Like I said, it was really tough to narrow this contest down to the top 3 and at least 2 very deserving videos had to be left out of the winner's circle.

That being said, there is another video tournament coming soon so for those who narrowly missed winning a prize this time around, keep your skills polished and your camera ready. You will get another chance.

Ivan's 1st Shred Video

by Crazy Ivan

Spending my morning looking over all of the entries we got for the Spring You-Tube Tournament and having a ton of fun with it.  I've actually already seen all the videos, but now I'm watching them differently.  I'm watching each one four times for the purposes of grading them.

I watch once just to get my overall impression of each video.  Then I go back and focus only on the tricks being done so that I can realistically assess the "skills" portion of each score (1-50 points).  Next I go back and watch it, focusing instead on video quality and trying to ignore the actual tricks altogether.  I assign each video between 1 and 25 points for that element.  Finally I watch a fourth time and just ask myself if I'm seeing anything here for the first time.  Are there new tricks?  New ideas for backdrops?  New uses of the environment?  New jokes or visual gags along the way?  Anything new in the soundtrack?

I add between 1 and 25 points for creativity to give each video its final score.  I've already gone through and assigned each video a "skill" score, but I've still got a ways to go on finalizing all the scores.  I should be finishing that up instead of blogging, but as I'm watching these videos, something strange occurs to me:

I've never done a shred video.

I've been in this game for nearly eight years.  I've posted over 100 Myachi related videos on You-Tube.  I've carried at least some kind of camera with me everywhere I've gone for the past couple of years.  Still, I've never actually done a shred video.

I can't actually say why.  A few of the veteran Maniacs have pushed me to do a shred video before and I've always placated them by promising to do it at some undefined point in the future.  I always intend to make good on that promise, but I never actually do.

The issue was in my face something fierce two weeks ago when our loyal reader Katana submitted his guest blog about shredding with style.  In the article he links to several videos of various Myachi Masters throwing down stylish shreds as examples for aspiring Maniacs.  As I'm moving the article to the blog I check out the links and I realize that he's got Animal, Monk and Mav linked but no me.  My first thought it "do I not have style?"

But then I realized that style or no, I've got no shred videos.  I did a tandem bit with Monk once.  I have a video where I play Myachi while swinging faux nunchuku.  I jam for a split second in Meeting Night and The Epic Shred.  I'm plastered all over Sack Center.  I have dozens of instructional videos and a couple of collection videos.  But no shred videos.

Well, I've known myself long enough to know that I'm the kind of guy who can't get anything done if there's not a deadline.  So I'm setting myself a deadline and by publishing it on the blog, I'm setting it in stone.  I will release my first ever shred video no later than twelve noon on Saturday the 30th.  That's one week from today.

Now, clearly, since I'm building suspense for it a week out, I'm going to have to go all out and load this video up with tricks, combos and Myachi stunts that have never been seen before.  I'm okay with that.  Figure I've got a few things up my sleeve.  That being said, I'm also looking for ideas.  So if anybody has anything they'd love to see me try in my first ever shred video, just let me know.  Email me at or just leave your idea in the comments section below.

And don't worry if it's insanely hard or even kind of stupid and/or dangerous.  I might not do it, but I'll probably try it one way or the other. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

Myachi Should be the Official Toy of Earth Day

by Crazy Ivan

So once again the time of the year has come when we all step back and take one 365th of our year to appreciate this incredibly awesome planet that we all get to share.  For better than four decades we've used this day in April to remind ourselves and one another how important it is that we not irrevocably screw up the planet.

We at Myachi love doing our part to help keep this place habitable.  In fact, we think that Myachi movement is deeply intertwined with the goals that Earth Day is all about.  So much so, in fact, that I believe Myachi should be adopted as the official toy of Earth Day.

Here it is expressed in algebraic notation.
In defense of that position, I submit the following 10 reasons:

Myachis Don't Use Batteries

Unlike the vast majority of popular toys in today's market, Myachi doesn't use batteries and thus doesn't contribute to one of the biggest sources of pollution in the world.  Batteries are often listed among the top 10 sources of pollution in the US and in many parts of the world (with less centralized power systems), the problem is even worse.  What's more, in a pinch you can actually Myachi a battery, though we wouldn't recommend it.

Myachi Encourages Outdoor Play

One of the best things about Myachi is that it can be played with in a crowded indoor environment or the wide open great outdoors (or, if you live in New York, the crowded great outdoors).  But some Myachi games like Fu, Net, Long Distance and Pong require a lot of space so players are prompted to get outside and enjoy.

It stands to reason that the more time people spend in nature, the more interested they will be in ensuring that nature sticks around a while.

Myachis are Recycled... Sort of.

Myachis tend to last for a really long time as long as they don't have any unscheduled and sudden meetings with baseball bats.  That being said, Myachis aren't generally "recycled" in the traditional sense of the term.

But Myachis aren't going to landfills either.  Because they are always made in limited edition, Myachis gain value the longer they are kept so people almost never throw them away.  If you'd like to see some Myachi "recycling" in action, click this E-Bay link and see all the used ones looking for new owners.

Myachi was Invented on Earth

Unlike many of today's high-tech games, there is no secret alien technology involved in the creation of Myachi.  As we all know, most games invented after 1946 have at least some amount of trans-planetary technology embedded in them.  Even classic games like Tiddly Winks and Chutes and Ladders probably come to us from other dimensions.  Myachi, on the other hand, was made on earth, by earthlings.  Also, 100% of our proceeds go to earth.

Myachi Uses Only Sustainable Power

While this was touched on in the battery segment above, it's worth stressing that Myachi is one of the few popular toys on the market that doesn't get plugged in, doesn't need recharged and doesn't need wound up.  The only energy needed to make Myachi work are the carbohydrates you have to consume to throw down a cool foot shred and those are 100% sustainable.

Myachis Can Help Fight Global Warming... sort of.

Climate scientists warn us of the coming consequences of global climate change and while the results will be devastating in a number of ways, one of the biggest problems we stand to face is that of massive flooding.  As ocean levels rise, low lying areas might be inundated with mega-tides.

But it stands to reason that there will also be smaller floods from smaller bodies of water.  While big sandbags will likely be employed to battle the major floods, Myachis can also be used for minor floods, such as rising puddle levels.

Proximity to Easter

While it's not always as close as it is this year, Earth Day always falls somewhere close to Easter and the Easter Bunny loves Myachi.  The reason should be obvious, but in case you didn't know, we were long ago contracted by the Easter Bunny and his affiliates to eradicate the barbaric process of using rabbit's feet as good luck charms.  Tests show Myachi to be at least as lucky as rabbit's feet and, of course, no bunnies are harmed in the making of Myachis.

Myachi Improves Physical Condition

Myachi is a muscle builder and a great cardiovascular exercise as well.  While this might not directly combat global climate change, pumping up the citizens of earth will certainly make it easier to deal with if things start getting worse.  We'll need somone to move all those sandbags around, after all.

In addition, people who are physically fit are less in need of unsustainable resources.  For example, fit people can walk to the store instead of driving or save a few batteries by getting up to change the channel.

Myachi is Sustainably Fun

Being environmentally conscious is all about focusing on sustainability.  Obviously we're always looking for sustainable resources, but sustainable fun is pretty important as well.  Consider the difference between getting into Myachi as opposed to getting into Xbox games.  Unless you really suck at video games, even a tough game is only going to keep you entertained for a couple of months at the most.  Then what do you do?  Buy another game (or beg for one).

Myachi, on the other hand, stays fun for years and years.  When you master one trick, you simply move on to another.  This saves you the trouble of continuously buying more stuff, though we do strongly encourage begging for more Myachis.

Animals LOVE Myachi

A big part of Earth Day is reminding everyone of the importance of being good stewards of our planet.  This means sharing it with all the plants, animals and bacteria that we share it with.  That being said, the ideal toy would be one that many species can enjoy together.  Thus far in my time with Myachi I've seen cats, dogs, seagulls, guinea pigs and a skunk all play with Myachi.  I've yet to see anything but a human play Gears of War.