Going Back

by Crazy Ivan

Alright, so if you're sick of hearing about how excited I am that I'm going back to Dollywood, you can go ahead and skip this post and I'll see you next time.  Don't worry, I totally understand.

Kid and I are getting a lot of the last minute stuff set up.  We're dusting off our displays, making sure we have enough pegs, rounding up all the product we'll need and finalizing our travel plans.  Pinky is verifying our reservations and Bones and Bamboo are packing up.  We're only days away from the trip and as we draw ever closer my mind hovers on it for longer and longer periods.

And for some reason, today it's seized on a memory from my teenage years.

I used to sing a lot.  I still do, but these days it's mostly confined to the shower or singing along to the radio in the car.  But back in my youth I sang for several different bands.  I played a little bit of keyboard and a little bit of guitar (and by that I mean I could follow along with a song without screwing it up), but I wasn't very good.

And I wasn't a very good singer either, at least not at first.  I can still recall the feeling in my stomach the first time I ever took the microphone on stage.  I'd only been with this band for a week and a half and we'd only had a couple of practices.  The other members of the band had been playing together for a while, but their singer had moved away and I stepped in kind of last second.

I'd never sung in front of an audience before and when the music hit and my cue came, I must admit that it was probably really obvious I'd never sang before an audience before.  I was terrible.  I clammed up, I got nervous, my voice cracked, I forgot the lyrics and I found myself counting the seconds until I could run away and hide.

I made it through the four song set and by the end of it I was doing better, but it was still an awful and thoroughly embarrassing experience.  By the end of it, I think most of the audience just felt sorry for me.  The other members of the band looked horribly disappointed and, no great surprise, they went out the next day and found themselves a new singer.

Now, that might have been the end of my singing career.  My guess is that if anyone who was in the audience that night was asked, they would say that it should have been the end of my singing career.  I wasn't sure why I'd sung so poorly that night.  I'd done way better in practice and normally I could at least carry a tune.  But I'd underestimated the effect the crowd would have on my nerves.

But I'm not much on the whole quitting thing, so a few months later, a friend and I started another band.  We did a softer type of music (the first band was more heavy metal, this one a bit more early 90s alternative) so it was a little more in keeping with my vocal strengths.  But more importantly, I'd learned exactly how bad it felt to screw up on stage and was determined not to do it again.

We played a few small shows while I built up my confidence and after a few months we were playing all over the place.  About a year after my first disastrous performance, we found ourselves booked at a teen club playing alongside the band that I sang for before.  Well... the one I attempted to sing for before.  There were six bands playing that night but we were billed right before them and they were closing the show that night.

And I was determined to give the performance of my life.  It wasn't just about winning a competition, it was about proving to the band that I let down that I'd gotten better.

Well, we didn't win the competition but I did sing a lot better.  It was a big enough improvement that all my old bandmates congratulated me on the show.  The band I was singing for at the time disbanded shortly thereafter and it would be years before I found myself on stage again.  By the time I did, I'd traded the microphone for a set of flaming torches and the act was way different.

So the $64,000 question is, what the heck does any of this have to do with Dollywood or Myachi?

Well, Dollywood was by debut as a Myachi Master in training.  I was brand new to the game and when I started with Myachi if I wanted to impress someone, the best thing I could do was turn my hands over and juggle 3 or 4 of them in my palms.  I guess I was okay back then, but I was no Myachi Master.

Going back this year feels a lot like going to that battle of the bands.  I was substandard last time I was at Dollywood and now I feel like I'm at the top of my game.  I can't wait to go back and show everyone how much better I got.

And I bet you can't wait for me to get there either... so I'll start blogging about something else!