Sunday, April 24, 2011

Myachi Should be the Official Toy of Easter

by Crazy Ivan

Ah, memories of Easter.  Waking up early and bounding out of bed to rush out and locate all the eggs we'd colored the night before.  Well... almost all the eggs.  The last two would usually be found about a week later when the smell reminded my dad that there is such a thing as "too good" a hiding space.

As I look back on those days of chocolate bunnies, pastel eggs and really crowded church services, I notice that there is one thing woefully missing from my memories: Myachi.

Of course, when I was a kid Myachi had not yet been invented so I can excuse my parents for not making it a staple part of our annual celebration.  The same excuse cannot be used today so I propose that we set about making Myachi the official toy of Easter so that nobody has to suffer through Myachi-less Easter memories in the future.

Below are a few good reasons:

Myachis are Multi-Colored

One of the hallmarks of Easter is the bright, vivid colors of spring that we associate with it.  Whether it's the dyed eggs, the vibrant Easter dresses, the budding spring flowers or those weird pastel generic M&Ms that are suddenly everywhere, Easter is a very colorful holiday.

That makes Myachi a logical choice for the official toy of Easter as we have Myachis of every color of the rainbow and then some (after all, there's no Whackadoodle stripe on a rainbow).

Myachi is an Indoor & Outdoor Game

One of the unique things about Easter is the way it moves around the calender.  Easter is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox, because just picking a date would be too easy.  The result is that sometimes Easter is in March and it's still a little chilly.  Other times Easter falls late in April and it's gorgeous out (like today!), so it's important that Easter's official toy be one that can be played indoors or outdoors.


Myachis Fit in Easter Baskets

This is pretty much a prerequisite for anything that wants to be counted as the official toy of Easter.  You couldn't exactly make "Monopoly" the official toy of Easter without radically changing the size or dimensions of the traditional basket.  Myachis, on the other hand, could easily fit even if they were still packaged in the Blister Pack.  If they were loose, you could easily fit several Myachis into the basket and you'd likely challenge the weight limit before you ran out of room.  And seriously, ask yourself how much more awesome an Easter Basket would be with a couple 5.0s in it.

Myachis Fit in Plastic Eggs

Ah, plastic eggs, the treasure chests of my youth.  I recall a clucking chicken that would kick one of these things out for a quarter at the pizzeria my family and I used to frequent.  The prizes hidden inside always sucked, but despite that I still loved getting the eggs.  There was something about the suspenseful sense of mystery that existed up until I opened it and found out what kind of lame junk they were pawning off on me.

Granted it might have to be folded up and/or broken in a bit, but a Myachi would fit into one of those little plastic eggs pretty easy and it's hard to imagine a better egg-gift (other than hundred dollar bills).

Trix and Rabbits Go Hand in Hand

As everyone who grew up after 1959 knows that Trix are for kids and that rabbits are eternally frustrated by that fact.  Myachi has more trix than any breakfast cereal could ever hope for, so it stands to reason that a Myachi would be even more appealing to a rabbit than colorful puffs of high fructose corn syrup.  Besides, if you're at all familiar with the antics of the Trix Rabbit, you know that dude could use a Myachi to help calm him down from time to time.


Myachi Burns off Candy Calories

It's hard to talk about Easter for very long without bringing up candy.  Candy is a pivotal part of practically every celebration we have in the Western world and Easter is certainly no different.  Now, I'm certainly not anti-candy (because I'm not the Easter-Grinch), but we can't afford to ignore the consequences of our national obsession with sugar coated sugar crystals (which is actually what Nerds are).  I'm sure most nutritionists would agree that giving somebody a Myachi along with their candy would definitely help the national obesity epidemic.



The Easter Bunny is All About Some Myachi

As I've mentioned before, Myachi and the Myachi Masters have been on an ongoing mission for the Easter Bunny.  We were first approached back in 2001 and since then we've been hard at work replacing the notion of a "lucky rabbit's foot" with a "lucky Myachi".  This was, in fact, why we originally added the keychain loop onto old school Myachis.

Keep in mind that the Easter Bunny likes Myachis so it stands to reason that if you have a few of them you will (a) get more candy and (b) have an easier time finding the eggs.  I'm just saying that there's no rule against the Easter Bunny stashing one egg deep down in the shoes you were planning on wearing to church.

Myachi is a Family Game

All joking aside, the best thing about every holiday is the time that you get to spend with your family.  Easter is certainly no different so it stands to reason that any game that is adopted as Easter's official toy should be something that can be played by mom, dad, brother, sister, Stewie and Brian.  This is, ultimately, what crippled the 2008 effort to make Grand Theft Auto IV the official game of Easter.



Peeps Need Pillows Too

Now, many of you might be looking at this entry and thinking that I just couldn't think of ten reasons to make Myachi the official game of Easter and just had to throw in something silly to bring the number up.  That is, of course, not true.  I add this one because, of course, Myachis make great Peep pillows, but also because I realized that I was in danger of getting all the way through an Easter article without bringing up Peeps... and Peeps are awesome.


Myachi Should be the Official Toy of All Holidays

I make no claims at objectivity here, but I think that Myachi should ultimately be the official toy of every holiday and/or celebration in the world.  Whether it's Easter, Halloween, Superbowl Sunday, Arbor Day, Australia Day, Secretary's Day, or Water Quality Awareness Month (which is August, by the way) Myachi should be right there.  Very few games manage to capture the infinite playability, challenge, eclectic appeal and ability to pay my bills as Myachi.



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Just a quick reminder that Mother's Day is right around the corner so if anybody has any suggestions for why Myachi should be the official toy of Mother's Day let me know.

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