Myachis That Don't Exist

by Crazy Ivan

While we all eagerly await the release of the "Sackthology", the complete compendium of every Myachi ever produced, the present day collectors often find themselves in an awkward position of being told something they are unable to confirm.  Somebody might tell you that their Black Bear Shag is rarer than your Dunkin Donuts, but how are you to know? (It's not, by the way)

Now, obviously I can't tackle every rumor in a single blog so if you have any specific questions feel free to leave them in the comments section, send them to crazyivan@myachi.com or check with the friendly folks on the Myachi Forum.  We'll try to help you steer your way through any specific trade or inquiry.

But there are a few general misconceptions I can tackle on this blog.  The subject of this blog is perhaps one of the most important.

Among the persistent rumors are those that claim the existence of a super-rare Myachi that few have ever seen.  There are, of course, plenty of Myachis that fit that bill, but there are also a few "phantom Myachis", ones that somebody dreamed up along the way.  These sacks never actually existed outside of the imagination of one deceitful collector, but rumors of them persist through the ethereal planes of word of mouth and cyber-nonsense.

So I'd like to take a minute to tackle a few of the ones that I'm asked about quite often.  The five Myachis I've listed below do not exist.  They are figments of deception or misconception and I'm hoping this blog entry will help to finally put these rumors to bed.

#1) The Wonder Bread Myachi


This one actually had no malicious intent behind it.  It was an innocent if poorly calculated joke by former Myachi Master Butter.  For those that don't know, that's the guy who set up the Myachi Forum, built our previous website and created such moves as the Ninja, the Dark Slide and the Bruce Lee.

Anyway, so he was mad active on the forum back in the day and one time as a joke he starts talking about this mad rare sack he has called the Wonder Bread.  To complete the deception he actually cuts up some fabric, snaps a picture of it and photoshops in a Myachi tag.

If somebody did that today we would assume it was a brazen attempt to rip somebody off in a trade but back then there really weren't that many Myachi collectors.  Butter was just messing around and in his defense I'm sure he never expected that we'd still be talking about his fake Myachi 7 years later.


#2) The Electron-M


This one is a little different in that it comes from a real Myachi, the Nest or Nest M Myachi.  This awesome jamming purple pakisack was made as a fund raiser for a Manhattan school and shortly after it was made, a few collectors who didn't go to that school got a hold of some.

Whenever a new Myachi comes out, there will be this period of what I call "false rareness".  People haven't seen it before so they assume it's incredibly rare.  A few weeks later they're seeing them everywhere but for a few days it seems like the most enviable thing in the world to have.

So before everyone knew the "Nest" Myachi, a couple less than trustworthy cats got together and scraped the letters N-E-S and T off the Myachi and started calling this sack the "Electron M" after an atomic looking symbol that was left on the face of it.  The hope was that they could convince a naive player into giving up a truly rare sack or two for this fake uber.

This deception probably would have been forgotten altogether if it wasn't for one detail.  In order to galvanize their lie, the perpetrators got on Yahoo Answers.  One asked "What is the rarest Myachi in the world" and the other answered "The Electron M.  There is only one in the world."

A few weeks later this came to my attention and I corrected it, but in many ways the damage was already done and people were emailing me asking about this legendary uber-rare sack.


#3) The Canada Myachi


This is another example where no ill-will was intended when a mythical Myachi was brought into existence.  If you've ever visited the Myachi forums you've probably noticed that there are several groovy little Myachi icons that you can add to your text.  Some are groovy little rare ones like the Drei, the Royal Tiger or the Dunkin Donuts.  There are even a few super rare sacks depicted there.  And then, of course, there are two fictional ones.

One is the aforementioned "Wonder Bread" Myachi.  When the emoticons were first crafted the story of the Wonder Bread sack was already ingrained in Myachi lore.  In addition to that one, the Maniac who crafted these little icons also made a Myachi icon out of the Canadian Flag.

This was originally done as a favor to former Myachi Master Big Dog (admitted Canadian) but, of course, many people saw the emoticon, assumed that it represented a real Myachi (and why wouldn't they) and went off seeking this Maple Leaf emblazoned Myachi only to be thwarted by the fact that it just doesn't exist.


#4) The Purple Eco-Kids


Even the long time fans of Myachi are looking at this one and going, "What?  A purple Eco-Kids?"

And no, there is no such a thing.  It was actually the persistent rumor of a purple Eco-Kids that prompted me to write this particular entry.  See, part of Blogspot's analytics is a page that will tell me what people have googled that brought them to the Myachi Blog.  At least 3 or 4 times a week somebody has gotten here by googling "Purple Eco-Kids Myachi".

I actually have no idea where this rumor is coming from.  I'm sure one of these days we'll identify the source and it might even make for an interesting story.  But for now, suffice to say there is no Purple Eco-Kids.  There were 6 of them made altogether: The Brown (Tan), The Yellow, The Green, The Blue, The Red and The Pink.


#5) The Green Crush


And last, but not least, the only imaginary Myachi that I personally really, really want.

The crushed velvet fabric has long been a favorite of Myachi players.  Even back when Myachi Man was hand sewing them there were a few Crushes.  The first line of Myachis ever produced in a factory contained a Purple Crush and that same sack appeared several times over the next few years.

Over time, the Crush family grew to include the Red Crush, the Aqua Crush and the Blue Crush.  Even back in 2003 when I first got involved with Myachi there were people constantly suggesting that we do a Crush in an emerald green.

And maybe someday we will.  It would make for an awesome sack and I'd love to see the Crush make a comeback.  But so far, there has been no Green Crush.  For years it seemed that every new series was rumored to have a Green Crush in it.  The forums would be abuzz with chatter that the long awaited Green Crush was finally coming.  I would tamp it down here and there but to this day there seems to be some element within Myachidom that thinks that such a Myachi exists.

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Soon, the Sackthology will be there to answer all your Myachi questions.  You will be able to look up any Myachi you hear about and see a photo of it.  You'll also know exactly how many were made, how long ago and what its relative trade value is compared to other Myachis.

Until then, all I can say is be careful and ask trusted resources.  Use the forums and the Myachi Masters to your advantage.  And anytime somebody offers you a trade too good to be true, it probably isn't.