Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Official Toy of Mother's Day

by Crazy Ivan

Today, as you all know, is the day that we set aside to remind our mothers how much we love and appreciate them.  We but them cards, we send them flowers and the youngest amongst us will give them plaster molds of the palms of our hands or some well crafted refrigerator art.  Today I'd like to suggest another gift you might consider giving mom.

Our regular readers will know that I've made the case in the recent pass as to why Myachi should be the official toy of Easter and the offical toy of Earth Day.  Today, I'm going to present the case that Myachi should also be the official toy of Mother's Day.  Like before, I've come up with ten reasons why:

The Whole Family Can Play:

As we are all well aware, few things make mom smile faster than seeing the whole family all playing a game together.  Unfortunately there are far too few games that big brother, little sister, even littler sister and dad can all do together that will be fun and challenging for everyone.

Myachi has a long tradition of bringing families together, as do moms, so this is probably the only reason I really need to present.  Just to be on the safe side, there are nine more...

Myachi is a Quiet Game:

When you ask your mom what she wants for Mother's Day, she'll probably say something like, "you don't need to get me anything, sweetheart", or "you're the only gift I need" or "I thought I told you to sit their quietly!  You're not out of trouble yet!  Just wait 'til your father gets home, young man!"

The point is that even though she might not say it, what mom really wants is a little peace and quiet.  For this reason, a soft toy that doesn't have any bells, whistles, electronic bleeps or loud bangs should be the official toy of Mother's Day.

Myachis Don't Break Stuff:

Alright, so maybe this isn't 100% true.  I can't guarantee that the vase pictured to the left there wasn't actually broken by a Myachi.  So while Myachis can break stuff, they're extremely unlikely to do so unless you're doing it on purpose.  A couple kids playing Myachi on the streets aren't accidentally going to break an attic window like they might if they were playing baseball.  Playing Myachi indoors could conceivably lead to a broken lamp, but I think we can all agree that the lamp is in way more danger if you're playing frisbee of tackle football in the living room.

Myachi Supports Education:

Even more important to your mother than you finishing your string beans is you getting a good education.  Moms are all about the report cards and they're usually doing 95% of the fund raising drives and chaperoning for school events.

Myachi is very mom-like in this way.  We've made more than 20 different Myachis as fund raisers for schools all over the country.  We've also donated countless hours to after school activites, special events and assemblies.  Moms are all about that kind of stuff.

Myachis are Safe:

Obviously nothing is 100% safe, but when it comes to activities for their kids, moms are always looking for things like Myachis.  Basically, moms are against anything that requires you to wear a helmet, elbow pads, knee pads or a facemask.  Don't get me wrong, she'll still let you do that stuff and she might even watch and cheer you on, but inside all she's thinking is "don't get hurt don't get hurt don't get hurt..."

For the sake of moms sanity, you should really be playing more Myachi.

Myachis Don't Need Batteries:

I've mentioned this a number of times before.  It's kind of the lynch-pin for my whole "official toy of Earth Day" argument.  But this is also something moms going to appreciate.  Beyond the fact that mom is probably pretty environmentally conscious, there's also the fact that she doesn't have to run to the store every week or two to buy you more batteries.  She would much rather hook you up with a toy where once she's spent money on it, she doesn't have to spend money on it again.  Just as valuable to mom as money, of course, is the time she doesn't have to waste on the trip.

Myachis Aren't Violent:

When I was a kid, the most violent video game my mom had to protect me from was Donkey Kong, Jr. so obviously things are getting tougher on moms all the time.  The video game industry has been testing the limits of mom's patience for decades now and it seems that every year the upper echelon of gaming-gore moves up a little higher.  Myachi, on the other hand, is about as non-violent as you can get.  It's not a contact sport, it isn't dangerous, there are no zombies and you don't collect ever more devestating weapons as you go.

You Can Play Outdoors:

My mother's three favorite words when I was growing up were "go play outside!"  Part of this surely stemmed from her desire to see me getting fit and active, socializing with all the other kids on the block and exploring the wonderful natural world around me.  Another part of it was probably just that she wanted some quiet in the house and the only way to accomplish that was to get me and my brother the heck out of it.  Myachis can be played with inside or out so even if you're in the midst of a heated MYACH game, mom can still kick you out for a little while.

Myachis Are Inexpensive:

In an age where kids are asking their parents for an iPad2 ($600-$850), an Xbox ($300+) or a decent longboard ($250-$450), I'm willing to bet that mom really appreciates it when suddenly you're asking her for a $5 toy like Myachi.  Even if you decided to collect them you'd have to have about 60 of them before you're getting into the video game console price range (unless you're buying rares off E-Bay), and even then adding new Myachis to your collection is way cheaper than adding new games for your console.


Your Mom Secretly Plays With Your Toys:

You probably don't know this because moms are notoriously good at not getting caught when they do it, but all moms secretly play with your toys when you're not around.  They have to keep up the image of mom-hood, but when you're not looking, I guarantee they're in your room setting up a little finger-board skate park or trying to get further in Portal 2 than you.  For that reason, you should make sure you've got toys that will be good for your mom to play with.  After all, if she's going to worry so much about your health, the least you could do is worry about hers.

...and finish your string beans.

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