Why Ivan Lost...

by Crazy Ivan

Got a message on You-Tube today that brought up an interesting question that hadn't occurred to me before.  The inquiry came from a person who wondered why I never won anything.

I'm not talking about Academy Awards or anything (although I think that Meeting Night should have at least been nominated).  But rather, they noticed after watching a number of Myachi videos that whenever I'm pictured in competition with another Myachi Master, I always lose.

To be honest, I'd never noticed it before.  The first example comes from the early days of Myachi when I filmed a "fight scene" against former Myachi Master Big Dog.  When we choreographed the scene, we knew that one of us would have to lose.  Since I had a pretty good fall and Big Dog's Mohawk made it all but impossible for him to do a plausible dive, we set it up so that he defeats me with a Pendulum at the end.

But unbeknownst to be, this began a trend.  Later, Monk and I would write and film a parody of SportsCenter called "Sack Center".  In that video we filmed several competitions and I was a participant in two of them.  One was a game of Fu against Animal (which I lost) and the other was a game of MYACH against Monk (which I also lost).

There were different reasons for both of my losses.  When we set up the Fu battle between Animal and I, we actually filmed about seven points and I won 4 of them.  But all of my points came quickly in the round and a few of Animal's came at the end of more dramatic exchanges.  In the end, we decided to present it as a three round bout and we used the two best rounds (both of which Animal won) and the most dramatic round that I won (which was still super quick).

As for the MYACH battle against Monk, well... I just lost that one.  Monk is unbelievable at MYACH and it wouldn't have been very realistic to set up a match where he lost so I'll just have to satisfy myself with having gotten a few letters off of him.

Lest you think this trend only carried over to a couple of videos, I also managed to recently lose a match of Myachi Arm Wrestling to Bones and post it on You-Tube.  I could point out that before we shot the video, in my effort to get Bones to do the video, I enticed him with "I'll let you win...", but that being said, he would have beaten me anyway.  Bones is a deceptively strong dude and he represented the surest challenge at the cabin.

With four losses and no videos of me actually winning games, I suppose one could be forgiven for thinking I just always lose at Myachi games.  There is the one counter-example where I beat Unknown in a game of "Faceoff", but until Unknown reaches the rank of full fledged Myachi Master, I still haven't defeated a Myachi Master on camera.

I suppose much of it is that I'm the one that's usually filming, editing or choreographing the stuff.  It would be pretty arrogant of me to choreograph a game that I win by design.  I guess most of it is probably just coincidence, but part of it could be that our team of Myachi Masters just keeps getting so much better (at everything).