Next Series Teasers

by Crazy Ivan

First things first.  We aren't even close to the next series.  Series 5.4 is in the works (along with what I would assume will be 5.4x), but the process is a maddeningly slow one and we're not on the verge of having these things on store shelves by any measure.  The whole process takes months and months to complete and the largest portion of it (the part where they stick the Myachis on a boat and send them across the ocean) takes the longest by a big chunk.  We haven't even gotten to that part yet.

So consider this to be the first "teaser trailer" for a Summer Blockbuster.  You know, the one that comes out in October of the year before and shows you just the tiniest clip and a little snippet of dialogue and frustrates the heck out of you because it's reminding you that you still have to wait another 9 months to see the movie in question.

This method seems to work really well for the Hollywood studios, so I figured we'd give it a try.  I've been observing the formula for decades now, so I think I've pretty much figured it out.  You start with some little tidbit of info that doesn't answer any questions, but instead it raises a bunch of new ones.  It's like when we found out that Bane was going to be the bad guy in Dark Knight Rises.  Did that mean that Batman would get killed in this one?  Did that mean they were going into the whole Future Batman thing?  Did that mean Batman would spend half the movie recovering from a broken back?  (Sorry, I'm a Batman geek)

So in the interest of raising a few questions without answering any of them, here is my "Teaser" for the new series:

Responding to calls from the Maniacs, this series will have a lot more diversity in the fabric department.

And that's all I'm giving you.  That's it.  Just a little tease.  And see how that raises questions that it doesn't answer?  As any Myachi Maniac knows, the last few series have been all (or nearly all) corduroy so when I say "diversity in the fabric department", obviously that means a few non-corduroy sacks.  But how many?  I did use the words "a lot more" rather than "a bit more" or even simply an unmodified "more".  So how many is a lot?

And while we're on the subject, notice how this is all completely ambiguous anyway?  All I said was that there would be more fabric diversity, but I didn't even hint at what fabrics.  There are, of course, dozens of non-corduroy fabrics that we've used in the past, so I could be referring to any of those, but there's no guarantee that I'm even talking about fabrics we've used historically.  It could be that we're using some totally new fabrics.  There's just no way to tell with nothing but that brief, non-specific statement.

This is, of course, only the "Teaser Trailer".  Like any good marketing campaign, I'll be following this up with a slightly longer version that gives a bit more detail while still raising even more questions.  So be sure to keep checking back with us...